The Box of Tissues

When I was a school principal and even today, I always kept a box of tissues on my desk. Not necessarily for me, but I made them accessible at the edge of my desk for all who visited my office. I would also often offer a tissue to a person who was tearfully pouring their heart out.  Whether it was a staff member, a parent, or a student, most of the time it was the only thing I could offer in those awkward moments.

I think the offering of a tissue symbolizes sympathy, empathy, and support.  The gesture says, "I'm here for you", "I'm listening", "I get it!”  We as human beings, leaders, parents, spouses, friends etc. often feel the need to fix it or offer a resolution when someone is emotionally upset. I found myself twice this week in this situation and felt completely helpless. I had nothing to offer to fix the problem. I was speechless but I felt like I had to do something.

The best I could do was offer a tissue.  Well…. I also offered a chair, an open heart, and a sympathetic ear.

The stories that were told were emotional out of frustration and feelings of being overwhelmed.  Frustrations with life’s troubles that are often out of our control and there’s nothing like a good messy cry to make us feel better.  One person was having repeated, aggravating car trouble, another was not able to log into a very important tech platform to meet a deadline.  Now, I'm not a mechanic or an IT person, so I said have a seat, here’s a tissue.   I listened and offered sympathy.   I didn’t or couldn’t solve their problems, but I could offer “shoulder to cry on” so to speak.  As leaders, just be there! Offer a safe place for a good cry or a minute to take a breath and a chance for the person reset.   The pressures of the world today can cause us to reach an emotional boiling point at times and that’s ok. We have all been there, it's human nature. Doesn't mean we are weak, sometimes we just need a release when trying to hold it all in.

Being able to provide a gesture of care, understanding and support.  Something as small and subtle as offering a tissue means so much. I've seen tissues sop up tears, shredded into pieces and my entire tissue box get emptied in a matter of minutes.

As human beings we need to be there for each other especially in those moments of release. Not to solve each other’s problems or offer advice but just to be there, to be present and to offer that tissue.