Reset (Part 1)

The other day my leadership team and myself had to "rumble" a communication issue amongst ourselves. “Rumble” is a term Brene’ Brown uses in her book Dare to Lead. “ A rumble is a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to be fearless in owning our parts, and as psychologist Harriet Lerner teaches, to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard.”  -“ Let’s Rumble” – Brene’ Brown Website Article, May 1, 2019.

Our responsibilities in our leadership roles often have us experiencing frustration and a feeling of being overwhelmed.  What we discovered was that it is difficult to communicate to someone in that emotional space.  It is very easy to have an emotional reaction which causes a block in communication.  What we decided we needed was like a "safe word" if you will.  A word to signal to the rest of the team “I'm not in a good place right now to have a discussion”.  We decided on the word "reset " or “I need a reset”. This would simply signify to the other person or the team that we need a moment to get our mindset and emotions right to be fully present in our discussion and be able to give and receive information in the conversation. (See Reset Part 2 on How to Reset) We used this word because earlier in the day I had received a phone call from someone who proceeded to tell me how I should have handled a situation and how I should do my job.   I was polite and thanked him for his feedback but inside I was seething.  I got off the phone and just went on and on about this phone call.  It was the beginning of the day and someone on my team took one look at me and said you need a "reset". I literally stopped in my tracks and said, “You know what, you’re right”.  So, I took a deep breath, let it go and had a better mindset for the rest of the day.  It is important for any leadership team to be a seen as a high functioning team. We have to have each other’s back and there will be times one of us is off.   Find your word or signal with your leadership team.  For us it’s the first step towards creating a high functioning team but allows team members the time and space to process issues emotionally as they arise.